My job has me in various positions throughout each day. Some days I spend a ton of time sitting, or standing, or just interacting with customers as a presenter with all eyes on me at the front of the room. Each has it’s own challenges and I deal with each differently if I can plan ahead.
First, as someone with incontinence you should always be prepared for the worst. I carry a large backpack and have two spare diapers, a pair of snap-on plastic pants, wipes, and a barrier cream. I am not able to carry a spare change of clothes due to space, so I plan as best I can. I have had situations where I might drink more than I could fit in my diaper and had leaks, ill fitting diapers that either rip or tapes come undone, or just need a change due to the itching that accompanies a day in a diaper. Spares and some basics help.
I change my barrier cream based on the various situations as much as I change diaper type and covers.
Good creams really help prevent rashes and are critical on hot days or days you might find yourself dehydrated. Dehydration is the worst for me. Not only does it intensify the smell of your urine and lead to quicker skin reactions, it causes the bladder to spasm much more! Hydration and a diaper change are better than a long day in a single diaper with pungent smells and reactions.
If you have never heard of Calmoseptine, you should check it out. Generally, I like the cream as it seems to adhere well and not just rub off in the diaper. It also has menthol which I will admit tingles my sack in a way I enjoy. I also use Triple Paste or Boudreaux’s Butt Paste as my go to choices. I have found that as a beer drinker, I recently have dealt with a yeast infection on my scrotum. It is bright red and itches, not like any diaper rash. I also get the typical yeast spots around the creases in my legs where the diaper rubs. I have found that a yeast medicine like Vagisil or Monistat help. You have to use it well beyond when you think you have it beat though as it tends to come back. I will rub some of that on and let if have a few minutes, then apply a barrier cream before wrapping back up. This is all good, but nothing beats a simple airing out when you can. Put down a chux pad and lay on the bed for a half hour and just let cool air dry things out as much as you can.
When it comes to diaper choices, I generally align them to my planned day. If I am walking a lot or presenting where I tend to pace while I talk, the release is much more in small spurts and I usually try to use something less bulky between the legs to avoid the chafe. I have found the BetterDry or NorthShore available at www.northshorecare.com diapers to both be good for this as they are narrower in the crotch than my other diapers. The BetterDry share a design with the “Crinkles” line so the diaper is the same but has designs on them for the more adventurous.
If I am sitting a lot, I know that I will experience gushes and full voids when I get up. This requires a larger pad up front and taller gathers around the legs. I find that ABUniverse.com has some Simple or Simple Ultras -Though the ultras are stupid expensive- that work great for these days. These also come in some designs that I find fun to wear when I need more than just white diapers. I relate this to the need for more choice than “tighty whitey” underwear when I still wore those. To each their own and no one but myself and maybe my wife ever see them, but I know what I am wearing and it just makes me smile some days.
These are my general goto diaper choices, but Abena also makes a good diaper as well as a great pull up. Their pull ups are my go to when visiting the Dr or when I am just out for an hour or so. They are a little more accepted at the doctors office as they come up and down easy and do not get me the stares of why are you so young and dealing with this, let me give you some pills.
Along with a good diaper, I use boosters. I generally find again that NorthShorecare.com is a great company to deal with and their shipments are always timely and discrete. I will use their Med/Large booster as it swells well but also allows it to flow through to the diaper. Along with this for longer days, I will place on top of that in booster in the crotch, a Abena Large pad. These pads do not have tape adhesive and do not swell much, but they wick like mad to make better use of the diaper from front to back.
When sleeping I have found the ABU’s to be horrible for leaks. They do not leak much on the sides or legs, but the wetness weeps out over the top and I end up with an underused diaper and a wet bed almost every time. The BetterDry and Northshores are much better as they do not have the fabric that extends from the pad to the top of the diaper and do not wick as much.
I am starting play around with cloth diapers and covers, but that is for next time once I know more about what works for me.
Most days I will diaper up as required and then I use a woman’s shaping panty over it. This helps hold things up better than men’s underwear, are cut such that they will not extend outside of a diaper cover (thus wicking any leaks to the outside), and they can help shape things. There are some with a thong like re-enforcement in the crack that help me avoid a flat diaper butt by creating a bit of a crease. While it can make for large bulges to the side, those are usually less noticeable than a big flat butt in dress pants. Along with this, the front usually has a panel to also reduce the bulge a bit in the crotch. Leonisa panties are my choice these days and available on amazon at an acceptable price. As a side note to this, my wife has found she likes to be able to trade underwear with me now as we are about the same size! Kind of an odd side note, but there is something sexy about it.
Over this, I generally wear a diaper cover from Babykins.com. They have a great selection and I have never been disappointed. Always go one size larger than you think you need as tight gathers around the legs and waist hurt after a long day and do nothing to avoid leaks really. The larger more comfortable leak less for me!
After the diaper, panty and cover, I wear a onesie to help conceal and support things. Preventawear.com as well as Babykins.com have great onesies that work well for me. I tried some from others like ABUniverse.com and they tend to have too much material in the crotch and chafe if I am walking a lot.
After the onesie, I put on my typical work attire. I try to keep my shirt untucked to help but most days that is not acceptable. Today I had to be downtown in front of customers. I felt very self conscious as my choice of diaper/panty left me with a very flat butt that I felt was obvious even before being in the diaper all day and it swelling, when I looked before leaving the house. By the end of the day the swelling was causing a large bulge in the front, and a noticeable complication when walking due to a bit of a waddle. I did not feel like I was walking differently, but the swelling diaper was much more stiff after the long day and it was shifting opposite of my stride cause more noticing on my part. I feel like everyone is looking, but I try really hard to not to touch, look, or cause focus away from what I am working on. To that end, no one has ever once in almost 15 years asked me if I am ok, why does my butt look that way, or am I am hurt due to my walk. No one notices or they are more embarrassed than I and they do not want to bring it up.
I hope you find this helpful if you are starting out or looking for options. Remember even young professional adults in all lines of work are incontinent too, it is not just you! Hold your head up and move on wearing as much or as little as you need to get through your day.